A Memorial

I remember sitting on the back porch of his lake house the summer before he died. We knew what was coming, but we avoided the subject by talking about our kids and their futures. A few months later, on this day in 2008, we lost our friend Kevin Housley to the brain cancer that tried hard to define his final 15 months. The eulogy I gave at his funeral recalled our many adventures and the incredible impact he had on my life.

On that day, I accepted the charge to take his friendship and pay it forward. We had lost others before him, and the list of memorial scholarships offered through the Stelos Alliance was long and growing, but that path did not seem sufficient to discharge the debt of gratitude I owed to my best man. In life, he pushed me to be a better person. In his death, I thought that maybe I could do the same for others to honor his memory.  

And so, the idea for the Housley Principled Leadership Program was born.

What started at Texas State University with 20 students has now shaped more than 700 lives over the past 17 years. That inaugural class was full of impressive people who are making a difference in their communities today. Each class hears Kevin’s story, and each student commits to becoming a person of consequence. These are young people who will matter.

A few years after we started, the family asked me if we would bring the program to Angelo State, to the community where Kevin grew up and raised his family. How could I say no? The long drives to and from the Concho Valley each week gave me time to reflect on my personal mission to help extraordinary young leaders reach their potential… and to think about the memorial we were creating for Kevin. Was I doing enough to honor his memory?

I spent a year in San Angelo helping launch the program and handing it off to the brilliant Gayle Randall, who would carry it forward. Last Friday, we celebrated the Ten-Year Anniversary of the Housley Principled Leadership Program at Angelo State University. (My math is a little different, but who’s counting?) The number of former students in attendance is a testament to the power of this program. Each of these young leaders is a living, breathing, walking memorial to Kevin.

One young lady fought back tears as she told me how the course had changed her life. She had fought through turbulence at home and had learned to believe in herself. Of course, there were formalities such as proclamations from the US House of Representatives and the Texas Legislature, but it was heartfelt testimonials from those who have benefited from this transformational experience that stayed with me and gave me a lot to think about on my drive back to Austin that night.

Eighteen years later, I still think about that conversation on his back porch and the promise I made to create a more fitting memorial. I don’t know if I’ve fully repaid that debt, but I can see the impact of the effort through the lives of the students.

And that feels like the kind of legacy Kevin would have wanted.