Birds of a Feather

I live in a bubble of my own design and creation. This becomes apparent to me whenever I venture outside of my social comfort zone and interact broadly with other people. I usually feel an overwhelming desire to return to my bubble, which is populated with a carefully curated set of people who share a number of common qualities. We are birds of a feather.

It is not that my bubble is small. There are a couple of hundred people on my “close friends” list. It is not a library with only one author. There is tremendous diversity among this group, but there is a core set of characteristics that describe the people that I call my friends.

The traits at the top of the list are hard-working, intelligent, and adventurous sorts that are engaged with the world and display a level of fearlessness in their life choices. They are reliable friends who are competent enough to come through for me when I need them. This is a perfect description of my inner circle. Of course, I also value humor, humility, and curiosity. Most importantly, I choose to surround myself with positive people who respect themselves and believe that the glass is always half full, preferably with good wine.

My experience is that I just click with people who possess these characteristics. There is a natural affinity with those who share this set of values (I think of them also as virtues). While there is a danger of this protective cocoon becoming an echo chamber, I still prefer the cozy confines of my bubble.

Maybe a safe harbor is a better metaphor; sheltered waters that are not exposed to the open ocean. We know that “smooth seas never made a skilled sailor,” but that doesn’t mean you have to live your entire life being tossed about in a storm. Consider the relationships you want to invest in heavily. Who is in your bubble, and what do they have in common? This is a good way to find out what you truly value in others and may lead to a greater understanding of yourself.