Ode to Amy
Today is Amy Kenly’s birthday!
The name Amy anagrams into both May and Yam. Amy is sweet, although she would gently remind you that yams and sweet potatoes are entirely different vegetables without making you feel stupid. Being stupid is fine, of course, provided there is brown sugar and marshmallows on top. Amy, may I have a yam?
She is our resident grammarian. We love exchanging pictures of signs with misspelled words or other mistakes. Have you ever been to a “Pubic Event”? Or seen a sign that reads, “Sorry for the Incontinence”? Amy loves those. She can explain affect versus effect, catch you using less when you mean fewer, and provide assistance you did not know you needed.
But birthdays are also occasions for confession, and I have been carrying a few guilty secrets for over 15 years. Amy walked into our lives at Kalypso in 2009 to teach a small consulting firm to fight above our weight class. Amy arrived as a proper young lady from New England, which naturally inspired me to begin spreading rumors about her.
Let’s play Two Lies and a Truth. Can you spot the true statement from the list below?
Amy attended an elite “finishing school” in Massachusetts before going to college.
Amy DJ’d a nightly radio show that only played songs by They Might Be Giants.
Amy was the writer behind the weekly “Miss Manners” column in her school paper.
I am also the source of the rumor that Amy has a deep and completely fabricated infatuation with unicorns. Close to two decades later, her house is full of unicorn paraphernalia that has been gifted to her. I apologize for every tasteful candle, sensible scarf, and respectable bottle of wine that was displaced by a glitter-covered present. Amy is her own kind of unicorn.
Amy has a lot of fans, and I have never heard anyone say an even remotely critical thing about her. A quick poll of our friend group yielded the following quotes:
“She genuinely cares about helping everyone.”
“She’s so chill, and then – BOOM – she hits you with one of the sharpest minds.”
“Strength revealed through kindness, intellect, grace, and tenacity.”
“There’s just a sense of calm and peace around her.”
The world needs more Amys: people who are brilliant without making a show of it, kind without keeping score, and strong without needing to announce it.
It is frequently annoying having such a perfect person around.
Finally, anyone looking for a birthday gift should know that Amy’s newest obsession is chipmunks. She thinks they are adorable and talks about them constantly. Please act accordingly.
Happy Birthday, Amy!
