Ambiverts Unite!
I’ve always been confused by the introvert–extrovert question. I love people and crave social interaction, but do not draw energy from it. The term “social introvert” may apply, or maybe I am just an introvert who has learned to behave in an extroverted fashion.
Introverts are often mistaken for being shy, antisocial, or uninterested in others. In reality, many introverts deeply value connection — we simply experience and manage energy differently. Extroverts get all the glory. This is obvious at an early age. Extroverts have higher social status and get much more attention. Being an extrovert looks fun, not to mention the potential benefits when building a career, maintaining relationships, or expanding your network. So, how can an introvert open those same doors in a world that favors extroverts?
The ability to “switch on” extroverted behavior is like switching languages. You will always be more comfortable in your native tongue, but you can communicate in a second language (don’t ask my colleagues in Mexico how well I do that.) Speaking in a non-native language takes courage. So does adapting your mindset to throw yourself into a situation that requires social interaction. View these as opportunities for honing a new skill rather than as a draining obligation.
Start small: make casual conversation with a bartender, attend a low-pressure social event, or ask a question during a meeting. Focus on listening — a natural introvert strength — and use it as a bridge to deeper conversation. Having a few go-to conversation starters and setting intentions beforehand can turn daunting social events into manageable (maybe even enjoyable) experiences. Over time, your confidence will grow, and behaviors that once felt forced will begin to feel more natural. Soon you’ll be fluent in extroversion.
After spending a week alone, I can confidently say that my introversion has its limits. I don’t know what I am, nor am I convinced it matters. Maybe it depends on the moon phase, my blood sugar level, or something else. Would it be cheating to declare myself an ambivert?
